I had my annual ultrasound earlier than usual this year, in early June instead of August. Pretty much no change in size, well apparently 1mm smaller on one side and 1mm larger on the other side. I guess that means it has shifted, but basically very little, if no difference in size. Doc seems happy and we will continue monitoring annually. I had a peak at the screen when they were doing the scan and I noticed that the 'moon' type craters that showed up so clearly on last year's scan weren't visible this time. It just showed up as it was before, i.e. a 'liquid' component on the one side and the rest a solid mass.
It is difficult to know what of my symptoms are associated with the HA and which are completely unrelated but I am reporting everything here so please take it with a pinch of salt as it could be that I am suffering from other unrelated ailments. My liver surgeon is of the view that most of my (ever changing) symptoms are unrelated to the HA/HA rupture. No doctor has been able to give me a firm diagnosis of anything I have experienced after the rupture and whenever I go and get blood tests done, all comes back normal. I sometimes wonder if some symptoms are psychosematic and whether I should go see a shrink about it!
I decided to go for a scan earlier than usual this year because I started off having a tough winter having been ill for a few months. It seemed to have something to do with my inner ear but symptoms included severe nausea, vertigo,dizziness, foggy head, etc. It was horrible and although most certainly unrelated to the HA, I just thought it best to have the scan to make sure all is okay still.
Once this year and twice the year before (in winter) I also had some sort of strange attack (not sure if it was a gallbladder attack or something else) which involved severe chest pain (as if having your wind knocked out of your chest and a feeling of straining) which was so painful that it left me crawling on the floor and unable to speak (first time I went to emergency room I was so scared). The attack lasts a minute or longer and then subsides. To this day I do not know what it was (by the time I got to emergency room it had subsided). First time it happened I was incorrectly diagnosed by a GP with Hyatias Hernia and second time I did not get a diagnosis. First time it happened it happened a few days after I had an MRI. It then happened about one month after that. A year later (a few months ago) it happened again.
Other than that I have been doing better. I have been suffering from less 'liver' pain and also less frequent gallbladder pain. I am still struggling with indigestion, heartburn and digestive issues and eventually went to see a GI who seems to think I have irritable bowel syndrome. I keep a daily diary of all my symptoms, bowel movements and food I eat and something is telling me that I may be struggling to absorb nutrients. I've always sufferred from weak spells when not having eaten enough or when I have eaten food with sugar, but the nature of the weak spells I have been experiencing lately seems different and to not coincide with my eating habits as it did before. I would feel them after eating a meal or in the middle of the night and they would coincide with the times that my bowel movements were loose or runny, same applied to the nausea/general ill feeling. I found that by drinking Rehydrate when I feel like this helps me feel much better. I'm not into drinking supplements but I've also started taking one women's 'high potency with collagen & cranberry' multivitamen daily and this also seems to be helping.
Another 'regular' symptom I have had over the past few years which also seems to be cyclical is that I get what I call "underarm" pain in my right armpit and the area also swells up and becomes very tender/sore to the touch. This starts shortly after ovulation increasing in swelling/pain up until I start my period. It eventually subsides towards the end of my period and is gone a week after my period. I thought is is my lymph node but am not sure anymore because the swelling seems to be into my breast almost in the formation of a line. Again, I don't know if this is completely unrelated to the HA.
I also still experience regular bouts of unexplained itchy skin.
Something else that started this past year is that I find that if I have a glass of wine or two I get blotchy red in the face. I drink very little but enjoy one or two glasses of wine or a beer on the weekend. It doesn't happen all the time but I have become thankful for it because it is the way my incredible body guides me in what I should and should not do. It is a goal of mine to start being more in tune with my body by listening to the messages it is sending me instead of my body being my 'enemy' which is how I have felt up until now after the rupture.
It is amazing how the following to this blog is increasing. It shows how many of us are suffering the same plight in this world. It is difficult for me to respond to each comment individually but I have read all of your posts. A few general responses regarding posts received since last year:
For those of you who are scared, this feeling is normal and there are things we can do to not let the fear take over our lives. I find it helps to keep a diary to record daily symptoms, eating habits, bowel movements, etc. This is also good in case you need to report back to your doctor. Talking also helps... whether it be by communicating with people on this blog or other forums, by seeing a therapist or joining a support group, you need to get out what you are feeling otherwise it will eat you up inside. My biggest problem is that I have become a bit of a hypochondriac in that every little symptom makes me think I am about to die. I am working on this and trying to 'roll with the punches' as my hubby says. I don't ignore the symptoms and if things get bad I go to doc and spend a bunch of money on blood tests, etc.... then they tell me I'm okay and then I feel better again. I'm just getting to the point where when I experience a strange symptom I tell myself, okay, this is interesting and try to keep a level head about it rather than panicking. I record it in my diary and 'keep an eye' on it. I think the fear is the most difficult thing to overcome. I'm slowly also working on letting go of my fear of death because it is the root of my problem. I think the key to this is becoming accepting of it and seeing it as a part of life, no less beautiful than actual life itself, rather than living in constant fear of it. To accept that we are not in control also helps. Remember, you are lucky to know that you have HA(s) which means you are one step ahead and should you experience a frightening symptom which requires for you to go to the ER, you can notify the medical staff to ensure quicker action in case of rupture
For those of you with multiple HAs, thank you for sharing your stories on this blog, we are hearing from more and more people in the same boat as you. It is in this way that patterns can be picked up and hopefully soon we will have answers as to what is causing this, how to treat and manage it. It seems some woman who have multiple HAs have not been on the pill or have been on the pill for a short period. I would be interested to know whether these women have been on any other long terms meds, hormone therapy or acne treatments or if they all live in same areas/eating habits, etc. We are exposed to so many hormone disrupting chemicals in our lives, there seems to be something other than the pill playing a role in the development of multiple HAs. It would be great if one of you with multiple HAs is able to start a blog or forum specifically for multiple HAs for the purpose of gathering more information to help play a part in solving the puzzle. If each person posting their story can also share what meds they have been on, etc to see if there is a pattern.
A lot of you have questions about the safety of pregnancy. I think each case is unique and your doctor would have to guide you. My liver specialist unfortunately has not been able to give me any feedback on this topic but I will not be having children in this lifetime. There are general concerns that pregnancy may cause the tumour(s) to grow. For those of you who have fallen pregant and given birth, please share your stories so that we can continue to gather more info on this.
A lot of you are complaining of fatigue. I also tend to need to sleep a lot. This was especially the case for the year after the rupture but even today I struggle if I am not in bed by 10 and I can sleep straight through to 7am or even later. Just before bed time the fatigue is so severe that I sometimes wonder if I will even make it to my bed! If I get enough sleep, I feel fine during the day, except on those days where I have multiple loose bowel movements. On these days I start off with 'morning sickness' (nausea, weakness/fatigue, unwell feeling) and start feeling better in the afternoons. Thankfully I have been having these type of days less often than I have been over the past four years.
Now that I am 40 (this was a hard adjustment for me), I am also curious to know how menopause will affect us and have noticed that this is a question on some of your lips too. Over the past few months I've also started experiencing night sweats from time to time each month. Wonder if this is the start or something else? Guess time will tell. I've decided to stop worrying, it is not going to help anything.
A quick word of thanks to Tan, Chemene and others for having provided support by sharing your experiences and words of comfort to others on this blog. I ask that all of you reading other peoples post where you can relate, please don't be shy to reply on their comment to provide encouragement.
I've read every single one of your posts and although I may have not responded personally I AM WITH YOU AND AM FOLLOWING YOUR STORY AND SO ARE MANY OTHERS FOLLOWING THIS BLOG, I would really love to hear from you again to see how you are doing. Many of you were scheduled for ops/resection. Please write back to tell us how it went and thanks to those of you who have already done so.
Strength and love to you all. You are not alone and we can conquer this together, at the same time help others which brings purpose and meaning to what we are going through.
ONE LAST THING, and this is a reminder to myself... STRESS is a killer. We need to work on limiting / reducing stress in our lives. Make this a priority in your life. Sometimes it is ourselves that cause the stress, this is something we have control over and should change. By assessing your daily routine and work life you will discover there are ways to reduce and manage stress. Google it! ;) xx